Change.

Sometime you can pour all you can into a friendship only to see it crumble away. It's frustrating. Part of me wants to force it to get better, but I know I can't do that. It's out of my control. I was looking at old pictures and then thinking about the awkward situation that has developed. I just wanted to be able to look back and know that we ended on a good note. The note we did end on was a little flat to say the least. Some friendships just need to be let go I guess. If they are too draining, then that defeats the purpose, right? I just want to pour into her, but she is out of my reach. hmmm. maybe it's 1 am bringing this out in me. Anyway, my hair is darker. not sure if that was a good idea with my pale winter like skin, haha, oh well. I needed a change. Ok off to bed.

2:22

It's raining and I can't sleep. Too much coffee, but at least tomorrow is a day free from finals and work. Sleeping in has now become necessary for 8 hours of sleep. I wanted to take a picture of the rain on my window but my battery is dead and the charger is in my car I think. So much for falling asleep to the sound of rain outside...

The Day is Here...

The nights is almost finished and the day is almost here. So we should stop doing things that belong to darkness and take up the weapons used for fighting in the light.
-Romans 13:12

Romans is such an amazing book. I don't know why it took me so long to discover that. Even though it was written thousands of year ago it is still perfectly relevant to my daily life. I loved the passage in "The Message" on this verse so i want to include it here....

"But make sure you don't get so absorbed and exhausted in taking care of all you day-to-day obligations that you lose track of the time and doze off, oblivious to God. The night is about over, dawn is about to break. Be up and awake to what God is doing! God is putting the finishing touches on the salvation work he began when we first believed. We can't afford to waste a minute, not not squander these precious daylight hours in frivolity and indulgence, in sleeping around, and dissipation, in bickering, and grabbing everything in sight. Get out of bed and get dressed! Don't loiter and linger, waiting until the very last minute. Dress yourself in Christ, and be up and about!."

Wow....ok so besides the fact that I'm still sitting in bed in my pajamas, this really hit me. What a lazy Christian I am while God is working everyday to prefect my salvation. I complain about the weather (since it is almost summer and still not as warm as I would like) and about finals ....but really I should be preparing myself for the return of Jesus Christ. Dawn is about to break, and where do i want to be when Jesus comes back. Laying around watching tv or doing something that shows my love for my savior...? The answer is obvious, I want to be glorifying the lord when Jesus comes back in all his glory. Day to day obligations too often take hold of my life and choke out my quiet times with God. I tell myself..."oh I really should read the Bible, but that history homework needs to get done." When in reality I know I have more than enough time to spend on God and my homework. It's the procrastination that stops that from happening. The thing is though that when Jesus does come back the last thing on my mind is going to be how I did on the Science lab....it's going to be completely on my Savior in front of me. I realize this in my head, but actually acting on it is a whole other matter. Why am I so on top of studying and doing laundry etc, but Lazy when it comes to what should be MY NUMBER ONE PRIORITY. So that's my goal this week, to dive back into the word. I want the bathe in the truth.